Grandparents are an incredible gift not every child gets to have. Whether there’s one or four, grandparents can offer unconditional love and acceptance that parents often can’t. They can be their grandkids’ mentors, teachers, shoulders to cry on, playmates, and best friends. Although each family situation and relationship are different, research shows that maternal grandparents tend to be closer to the children than paternal, for several reasons. Additionally, a new study indicates that maternal grandmothers can significantly help the kids going through difficult situations compared to other grandparents.

What is the matrilineal advantage?

The basis of matrilineal advantage is that daughters tend to be closer to their own parents than their in-laws. This leads to maternal grandparents spending more time with kids than the paternal, especially since women tend to be closer to their parents than men are to theirs. “Women are more active in maintaining those relationships,” said Jan Mutchler, a sociologist and gerontologist at the University of Massachusetts, Boston, to the New York Times. “When you have mothers and d

“Gatekeeping” the grandkids

Whether they work or stay at home, mothers tend to be in charge of family plans, including phone calls, playdates, sharing news, and family gatherings. At the same time, they can cancel and restrict certain activities. And if they don’t get along with their in-laws, they can “gatekeep” the grandkids. For some people, their relationship with their grandchildren begins long before they are born by cultivating a loving connection with the daughter-in-law. If she feels uncomfortable, disrespected, or like she’s “walking on eggshells” around them, she’s more likely to limit their visits for her own peace of mind.